I Close My Eyes

I close my eyes and remember, I close my eyes and think, I close my eyes to try and stop the tears from falling. I breath in slowly and tell myself "tears won't change what happened, tears won't help the situation." I close my eyes and remember and become angry. The hate I thought I'd let go rises in me and I want to lash out. The problem is I sit in this room, alone, so what good is it to lash out? No one can hear me...so I close my eyes. I close my eyes and try to let go. I know there's no point in holding on to the past, I can't change it nor erase it. I need to move on, I need closure. I don't know how to say what needs to be said, or what even needs to be said.  I close my eyes and run away, but I have to reopen them at some point and I have to once again deal. I close my eyes and wonder what would happen if they never reopened................I close my eyes, I pray, I breath, and wait to see what tomorrow will bring.